gdisuhjksdgfdhusi okay just fuck. Today was so fucking fun and amazing dhguj ahhh. I'm so fucking glad that I got to go! I never actually thought I'd get chosen when I emailed them, I was just like "Eh, might as well try though" but dfghsujnk I got chosen.

It was so amazing, even though we were mainly sitting around doing nothing but I was one of the few people there who had never met the twins before haha. It's so bad that I still can't tell them apart though ; A ;

But lol when I first arrived, I was all flustered and shit after getting lost and being worried I was going to be late because I WALKED for an hour. But then I just saw John and Edward coming up to me and a group of other girls and one of the twins stroked my fringe and said he liked my outfit and bow and then he saw my bag and he was like "I love your bag! Vivienne Westwoood!" haha 8D

Then some time later, John came to the room where all the extras where and he was shaking the hands of the two guys next to me, then he moved to me and I was about to shake his hand but he just hugged me before. Like ultra super tight for longer than expected so I was all "Shit can't breathe what :C".

They also had to film this scene with water and shit by this lake and they kept telling us off because stupid people were being loud and noisy and then Edward was all "shut the fuck up" haha. 8D

I was really glad I stopped being so awkward and spoke to other people because lots of people were so nice and lovely!

dfh oh yeah more shit! dsfj The party scene was so fucking fun to shoot. We were just in some massive house (which was amazing and I want to live in dfshjak) and just dancing to bad behaviour then the twins joined in and like, they were crowd surfing and one of them was just like "let's get pissed! Lol 8D" when he was just up in the air before we started shooting. I ended up being right next to them most of the time when they were standing and I kept getting pushed in to either them or the camera man so hopefully I'll be in the shoot. Really sad I didn't get chosen for the pyjama scene though omfg ; A ;

Most of this has probably said already on twitter but fuck you, I just want to say it all again. Also lol, this is probably such dumb old news to already existing Jedward fans who've met them 1392349723 times before but this was my first time. Sad I didn't get any pictures with them though. D8

dgiuhsjiakasd but fuck, today was SO fucking fun and I love them so fucking much now. Like, even more than I did before lol. (Please don't judge me as a crazy stan omfg!)

Hello everyone, haven't posted here in a veeeery long time. Woops. Should probably update about shit but fuck that, I am lazy lol. But I've been having lots of fun times amongst my exams and it's so lovely to be social and hang out with people <3

Someone's been telling me to post all of my outfits so I might as well post it here haha. I'll probably post all the lolita outfits on d_l hah.


Derp as fuck face. Not really fond of my socks and shoes in this outfit but I like the top bit lol.


Outfit Rundown
Bow: Angelic Pretty
Jacket: DreamV
JSK: Emily Temple Cute
Tights: Primark
Shoes: Montreal




Outfit Rundown
Shirt: UNIQLO
Skirt: Bodyline
Shoes: Dr Martens


I only have a group shot for this outfit haha. Went out for a birthday dinner at a vegan restaurant that was surprisingly good.

Outfit Rundown
Bow: Primark
Blouse: River Island
Dress: Only.
Shoes: Primark

ghuifjklsd I am bored of this now. I was going to post lots of pretty pictures but fuck that shit. I leave you with this.




I'm blonde now. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HAIR. Don't know if I want to go fully pastel pink and I can't find the toner for that kind of dusky pink colour. dshufjak what do!?

Gah I have so many things to do. My main priority is to get my art shit done because my deadline for EVERYTHING is for tomorrow but erm I want to do other shit right now :C I just need to get this off my chest lol.

This post is just... I have many words to say about this.

And I would just like to add again for the millionth time how much I fucking h a t e the people who have commented talking about African-Americans instead of black people in general. In such a global community like egl, not fucking everyone is from America, you twats.

I just can't believe the opinions of some of the people commenting on that post. I personally find nothing wrong with having a community just for black lolitas or for just asian lolitas or something. I was discussing this a while ago at school because my friends and I noticed that most friendship groups all had the same race in common and someone else pointed out that my friendship group was probably the most multicultural haha. Also, someone brought up that usually when we were forced to go in groups that were chosen by teachers, they generally tried to mix it up so the groups were multicultural. That's alright, I guess but I don't find it anything wrong with the way the friendship groups are. It's not like anyone PURPOSELY seeks out all the people of their same race and forces a friendship out. It's that people of the same race usually already have things in common, like the way their family is like or cultural things that only their race does. It's not like these people purposely ignore people that are not of their race and they can still be friends.

Going back to the lolita post, that sort of thing is why I don't find it wrong or racist. Black people have different hair to white people so it'd be easier to discuss hair things in their community with people who have experience, rather than with the whole of the lolita community where people would most likely come in and chat shit about how they know what they're doing when they don't. Like how white people and asian people seem to cut hair differently. I'd rather go to an Asian salon because they have more experience and would most likely know what to do with my hair, not because I am ~*~racist to white people~*~.

On another note, I can't believe some of the things people have said on the post. This fucking marchofducks person. F u c k i n g h e l l. The way she goes ">X D" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? But mostly the things she's said. She doesn't see the point of a community like this because it's ~*~self segregation~*~ then when she gets called out, she goes "MY BEST FRIEND IS BLACK". Holy shit, couldn't believe she actually said such a stupid thing to try and prove that she was good. Also, she said in Ohio where she lives, the majority of racism occurs with black people being racist to other black people but calling each other "nigger". Erm... That is not racism, right? Or am I missing something? It's like how I always use the word "chink" about myself. Most likely this girl is wrong because she is wrong about so many things. She just sounds like an ignorant teenager who doesn't really know much about the world other than things to do with her.

My feet are cold. On another note, Osama bin Laden is dead.

There are so many other things I want to write about as well, including Doctor Who obviously and all the times I have been out. I have been so social lately and going out nearly all the time. But I'm going to have to stop that soon because of actual REAL EXAMS HOLY FUCKING SHIT. ; A ;

It's been ages since I've really written stuff, it felt really awkward at the beginning. I hope this entry made sense and I didn't come off as an ignorant, unaware stupid teenager D8

Yoooy. Today I went to Cambridge to help Alex with the photo shoot for Lolita in Wonderland II: Lolita Through the Looking Glass 8D I went with various frilly people and it was pretty fun. It went faster than expected and I really hope the pictures turn out alright, I'm excited to see them hurr.

Don't really have any pictures about it yet but I have pictures of yesterday when Fonlay and I met up to try the ice cream flavour of the week from ChinChinLabs 8D


Lemon Meringue ice cream with raspberry sauce and popping candy omfg. This was another amazing flavour. The actual ice cream also contained crushed up pastry and meringue bits, so that was lovely. All their past flavours I have tried were amazing to be honest so yeah. I highly recommend everyone to go there, I doubt you'll be disappointed.

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Just going to post pictures of random shit because I feel like it and not all of you are on Facebook to see it.

( Here )

Things I want to have:
• Pink hair
• Piercings
• Tattoos
• Frilly clothes

Lol I've been making lots of lists lately. This is just an example of one of these lists. Ahhh I can't wait for Summer when I have lots of free time and these things can actually be achievable. I'll have pink hair that I'll wash in streams. I'll have summery friends who know how to be outside. I'll play tennis and wear frilly dresses and have bare feet. Yes, oh yes, oh yes.

I will give a gold star to anyone who gets what I am talking about.

Lots of lovely things have been happening lately but it requires too much effort for me to talk about haha. Have a picture instead. A picture of the improvement Finlay did to my FB profile picture. She is an artist of genius.

OH FUCK
YOUR THOUGHTS ARE FUCKIN GAY GET OUTA MY FUCKIN WAY M/F!



It's been fucking years since I made another lj entry again. But FUQ U. It's not like I'm obligated to write one anyways, I can neglect this and treat it however the fuck I want. dhf eurgh I don't even know what I'm on about, I chat so much shit. There's loads of things I need to catch up on but I'll just post pictures of this past half term so far. I've done no work but w/ez, I don't even care lol.


I bought another bigass bow. 8D

Also yeah, this weekend was so fucking fun and hilarious and it was a serious patronus moment. I stayed over at Anna's 8D



We drank tea and played the IT Crowd board game 8DDD We didn't really get the rules properly so we made it up as we went along. I was Richmond, awww yeah. We also played the revels game like we did in year 8 and sdfjk ahhh so happy 8D


Went for tea and shit with Finlay and Bree today 8D I have no purikura to show so there are no pictures of us together. Please settle for my Kiryuin crazy mofo face instead. 8D



Yur.

This post probably has stuff that can be deemed offensive about Christianity, sorry if it offends you.




So last RE lesson, we started a discussion about the existence of an after life and does the idea comfort people. Or something along those lines. It started off about that but then went into all sorts of different directions. Just wanna write all my thoughts about it down.

So many people believe in the concept of an afterlife and an idea of there being a Heaven after they die. They may believe that Heaven is just the next step and death doesn't signify the end of their life. I think all of that is bullshit. After you die, you are just dead and there is nothing you can do about it. But of course, people are scared of death, it's a natural reaction and that's why they cling on to the idea of an afterlife to make themselves feel better; it comforts them and helps them deal with death. I guess it's good that people do come up with this idea if it makes them feel better but I don't believe in any of it. I believe that when you die, that is it, that is the end of your life. Hopefully, you would've led a good and fulfilling life where you managed to at least do some of the things you enjoyed, which is better than doing nothing you enjoyed. Maybe I think differently because I've never had to go through the grief of losing anyone but I doubt that when I do, I will think “It's okay because they are dead, they are just in Heaven so it is all fine”. I'll most likely think “At least they had a good life and we had good times together, that was good”.

I take comfort in the fact that they had a good time while being alive instead of focusing on how they're in some magical, non existent place. I think this is better because it makes you cherish life more. Instead of wasting your real life not doing anything and restricting yourself, thinking “I have to do everything right so I'll get to Heaven!” and not commit suicide or anything, you should just do what you want to do and focus on making your life great. Not saying you should go and murder people and stomp on kittens but if you want to kill yourself – go ahead. I don't see why people say suicide is such a massive sin because surely it is better to end your life and end your grief rather than go on living in despair. Either way, the Bible is full of so much contradictory text you can't even really know what's wrong or right. It's not like they're actually God's own words either.

Also, someone in my class mentioned about how after her grandmother died, she believed that she was still a part of her and that her grandma was guiding her in her life still. I don't think that it's her grandma actually there but that she wants it to be like that so badly, she begins to imagine it and trick herself into believing it's actually real. The only thing alive about her is the memory of her. This is just another comfort thing and another way of coping, tricking yourself into believing they are somehow still there so you won't have to deal with the fact they're dead. It's like with ghosts. So many people think they see ghosts but I believe that they just trick themselves into believing it's real, like when you look at something and you're so sure it's one thing but then you look closer and it's something completely different altogether. It's like that.

The idea of reincarnation was also brought up but there's no proof for that. People make up all sorts of shit all the time – look at the Bible for instance. That was all made up by lots of different people. I don't believe in reincarnation either, but the idea of the Dalai Lama is pretty interesting. I don't really know how this happens. For those who don't know, you can read about it here.

Although there is no proof for reincarnation, there is no proof of a Heaven or my belief of things just ending when you die either. But then again, these ideas aren't really about what is true or not. It's what people believe to make them feel better. Someone mentioned that we shouldn't question these things and let people keep on believing what they want because they got all pissy and upset that people said they didn't believe in Heaven like she did. I can see why she said this because if I believed in Heaven to try and help me, I wouldn't want someone telling me my cat wasn't living happily in Kitty Heaven after all or something similarly stupid. Except I don't believe in that. I think we SHOULD question these things and find out about it in order to gain more knowledge and educate ourselves, rather than keep on being stupid. Without questioning things, we wouldn't be able to have so many of the technological things we have no. Furthermore, there are still people who believe that God created people even when there is so much scientific evidence for evolution. People with firm beliefs will still believe what they want to believe.

Another point I'd like to add is what my friend Anna said. She compared our lives to being like a light bulb. The light bulb being on is like being awake and alive, off is like sleeping and the light bulb smashing is like death. Then there is no more of that 'life', it's dead. Does the light bulb go to a little light bulb heaven? No, it's just there, useless and dead. I think was such a genius thought and I agree with it fully. I may have written it wrong because it was a while ago but yeah. I don't know why but this managed to make so many people angry. Some people argued that we weren't light bulbs. Of course we aren't, the light bulb was just a comparison! Anna and I ended up getting into an argument with another classmate. I can't recall exactly what she said but it was... erm... not very great. She believed in Heaven and said that because religion came before science, that was the proof that religion was right. Except it really wasn't. There is no proper proof of a God but scientists do experiments and figure out things and there is proof of that. People like this make me wonder about humanity and why are they like this. It makes me sad.


Just wanted to write all of this down hah.